


Just Pretend

by thedeadparrot



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:19:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeadparrot/pseuds/thedeadparrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Your motivation is that you're a repressed frat boy," Kurt says, rolling his eyes, "and we're at a party. This isn't difficult."</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> Like everyone else, I was quite amused by the makeout scene in "I Do" and then I wrote fic about it. Takes place during S3.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you have a _thing_ about straight guys," Blaine says. He's wearing one of the old UCLA t-shirts that Cooper used to bring home as some sort of consolation prize for leaving Blaine behind with his parents and never having time to talk on the phone. This one is at least one size too big for him, hanging off his frame in a way that makes him feel sloppy and uncoordinated. He's also wearing his loosest pair of jeans, the ones his aunt gave him last Christmas because she thought baggy jeans were in again, and they actually need to be held up with a belt or else they'll slide off his hips.

"I hope you realize how wrong you are about that," Kurt says, sniffing the way he always does when he thinks Blaine is being ridiculous. Blaine knows he's not being ridiculous. There was that thing with Finn that Kurt doesn't talk about, because _ew, Blaine, we're brothers now_ , and his weird crush on Cooper, which is also gross because of brothers. There were also some rumors about Sam, but Blaine doesn't put much stock in McKinley's rumor mill. Last week, people thought Blaine was born in Guatemala and the week before that, people wanted to know if he knew Tim Gunn just because they were both gay.

"Okay, so I just want to go over this again. Like, what's my motivation here?" Blaine says. Kurt's such an effortless actor that he can slip in and out of character at will, but Blaine has to really work at it. He's not always that great at getting out of his own head.

"Your motivation is that you're a repressed frat boy," Kurt says, rolling his eyes, "and we're at a party. This isn't difficult."

It's not that easy for Blaine, because this is his room, the one he's lived in since he was five, and it's about as far away from his associations with frat houses as he could possibly get. "But have I had feelings for guys before? Like do I have a crush on Jeremy Renner or Tom Brady? Or maybe there was this neighbor that I thought was really cute?" Blaine doesn't want Kurt to get annoyed at him, but he needs to know more about this person before he can really embody him. He can do an okay impression of The Situation, but that's nothing like creating an entirely new character from scratch. "Do I play sports?" Blaine asks.

"Yes, you can be a football player," Kurt says with an annoyed sigh. "Can we start now?"

Blaine grins. Maybe it's ridiculous because he'd always be happier performing, but he had a whole few years where he was bummed out about the fact that he'd never have the right build to be a football player. "Sure," he says.

Kurt leaves the room to get ready, and Blaine starts up the mix they created together on iTunes, keeping it quiet enough that his parents won't be suspicious if they come home early but loud enough that they'll have to speak louder to hear each other over the bass. Blaine slouches, which always feels weird when he tries it, and he picks up the half-empty beer bottle, bringing it to his lips. It's just water, because Kurt gets this look on his face whenever Blaine mentions alcohol, and they only have this prop because Blaine's parents are pretty lax about when they take out the recycling. They are not so lax about their liquor cabinet. Apparently, there are some wild stories about Cooper that Blaine barely remembers.

Blaine decides that he's just finished talking to one of his bros about a possible game of beer pong, and maybe they've been talking about all the hot chicks they're into and who are also at this party. (What do frat boys do? Blaine's seen Animal House, mostly because Cooper told him to, but that's like thirty years old. It can't still be like that, can it?) Frat-boy-Blaine is nice, he decides. He's not a homophobe or anything, he's just convinced likes girls, and Blaine can understand that. Girls are nice to look at. Frat-boy-Blaine doesn't look at other guys, not really, but then--

"Hi," Kurt says. He's standing in front of Blaine in his tightest pair of pants and a gorgeous black shirt, unbuttoned just enough to show a teasing sliver of his chest. His hair has been teased into perfection, which makes Blaine feel a little self-conscious about how messy and ungelled his own hair is right now. He does his best not to stare at Kurt's crotch, even though it's right in front of his face.

"Hey," Blaine says, forcing his voice a little deeper. He takes another sip from his bottle and then puts it on the ground.

"My name is Kurt," Kurt says, sitting down next to Blaine on the bed, still leaving them a good six inches between them. He's making his voice a little more camp, and his mannerisms are a touch more flamboyant than usual. It's kind of hot, watching Kurt be someone else, and Blaine tries not to fidget from how much he just wants to jump his boyfriend.

"Blaine," Blaine says. "This is the first time I've seen you around here." Even if frat-boy-Blaine can't wear jeans that actually cover his underwear, he can at least be somewhat polite.

Kurt shrugs, and Blaine has no idea how he can make even that seem elegant. "I came here with a friend, but she's already ditched me for her boyfriend. I guess I'll have to make my own fun." He gives Blaine a sly look that makes Blaine's mouth go dry.

"Uh," Blaine says. It's not really his fault that he can't stop staring at Kurt's lips. It's not. "Do you mean like, ping-pong or something? 'Cause I think some of the brothers are using that table for something else."

"Oh, that's too bad," Kurt says, inching closer. "Maybe you have another suggestion?" Blaine almost leans into him, but then he remembers he's supposed to be straight and scrambles away.

"Sorry, dude," Blaine says, "but I'm not really into that."

The expression on Kurt's face is mock-innocent. "Having fun? Well, isn't that a shame. I was hoping that we could have all sorts of fun together."

Blaine coughs, because he knows Kurt will probably find some creative way to extract revenge if Blaine starts laughing at his lines right now. "I'm straight," he says, and it's just a role he's playing, but it's still kind of strange to say it out loud.

"How do you know?" Kurt asks. "Have you ever kissed another guy before?" He arches one perfect eyebrow in Blaine's direction, and Blaine wonders how much longer he's supposed to hold out. It can't be too much longer can it?

Blaine shrugs in what he hopes is a slouchy, frat-boy-like way. "Does my dad count?"

Kurt snorts. "Your dad definitely doesn't count." He inches closer in again, and this time Blaine holds his ground. Kurt's knee bumps against his. "Come on," Kurt says. "Prove it to me." There's a challenge in his eyes, and Blaine knows he's supposed to take it.

"Jeez, okay," Blaine says, rolling his eyes. He leans over and presses a quick, dry kiss to Kurt's lips and pulls back before he can be tempted to make it deeper. "Happy now?"

"Not really, no," Kurt says. He grabs a fistful of Blaine's t-shirt and drags him into a proper kiss. There's all this tongue, and Kurt's _lips_ , and his other hand is tugging at Blaine's hair, and it takes Blaine a few moments to remember that he's supposed to be resisting this.

Blaine pulls back, gasping for breath. "Hey, man, not cool," he says, but he knows he's starting to sound more like himself, his voice going higher.

Kurt's expression is smug. He makes a show of licking his lips, and Blaine can't tear his eyes away. "Oh, I beg to disagree," Kurt says. He's aiming for sultry, but it mostly sounds breathy and turned on.

The jeans Blaine is wearing are loose enough that his arousal isn't obvious, but Kurt presses a hand against his crotch. Blaine's hips jerk up before he can bat Kurt's hand away, and he knows Kurt must have been able to feel it. "It's just a thing," Blaine says, feeling the heat rise up in his cheeks. "I haven't gotten laid in weeks." He pushes himself further up the bed, closer to the headboard, away from Kurt.

"I could help you out with that," Kurt says, crawling after him. "You wouldn't even have to tell anyone." He puts a hand on Blaine's arm, causing goosebumps to rise up on Blaine's skin, and Blaine wants to kiss him, wants to pin him to the bed and peel his pants off his legs, giving up the whole charade just so he can suck Kurt off.

Blaine takes a shaky breath. "Just bros helping bros, right?"

Kurt's smile just gets sharper. "Of course," he says. "I'm sure you have all sorts of excuses about this. Wouldn't want to be too _gay_ or anything." His eyes have gone dark, and that never fails to make Blaine's belly twist with the reminder that he can do this to Kurt, that Kurt can do this to him.

"It's not gay if your dicks don't touch," Blaine says. One of the few benefits of going to an all-boys school and being surrounded by straight boys on a daily basis is getting to repeat everything they say later.

Kurt bites his lips as if trying not to laugh, breaking character, and Blaine wants to grin at him. They've had conversations like this before, and it usually breaks down into giggles, because seriously, _straight boys_. "Is that what they tell you?" Kurt says. He straddles Blaine's lap and plants a hand on Blaine's chest, pushing him back so he's lying down.

"Yeah," Blaine says. He's lets Kurt do this, because there's no point in pretending with Kurt on top of him, leaning over to kiss him. It always makes Blaine feel pleasantly tingly, everything in him lit up from Kurt's touch.

This kiss is slower, drawn out with every trick Kurt knows to get Blaine going. He rucks Blaine's shirt up, his hands fumbling with the buckle of Blaine's belt. "Fuck," Kurt says. "I just want to--"

All Blaine can do is whimper in response.

When Kurt gets the buckle open, he doesn't bother undoing the fly of Blaine's jeans. He just tugs them down Blaine's hips along with his boxers. Then his hands are on the fly of his own pants, his teeth biting down on Blaine's jaw.

Blaine groans at the first touch of their cocks against each other. It was insanely hot the first time they tried this, rushed and too quick in the back of Kurt's Navigator, trying to get skin against skin while keeping most of their clothes on. It's insanely hot now. He grabs a fistful of Kurt's shirt, yanking on it so he can touch the smooth, bare skin of Kurt's back.

"You're supposed to be repressed," Kurt says, panting into Blaine's mouth, "and fratty." He wraps a hand around both of them, and Kurt's dick is so hard and so hot against Blaine's own. Blaine arches his back, bucking his hips, desperate for more friction.

"Don't care," Blaine says. He bites at Kurt's lips. "Love you."

Kurt rolls his hips down and lets out a low moan himself. "You can't say things like that," he says. "Wanted to stay in character this time."

Blaine wraps an arm around his back, wanting Kurt pressed up against him, the firm familiarity of his body right up against his own. Blaine's close, so close, but he wants to make sure Kurt's there with him. "You're too gorgeous," Blaine says. "I gave in." Even frat-boy-Blaine would have given up after the first time Kurt straddled his lap. Blaine is sure of this.

Kurt snorts out a laugh, tucking his nose behind Blaine's right ear. "You always know what to say," he says.

"Come on," Blaine says. He grabs ahold of Kurt's hips. Kurt makes a soft noise at the back of his throat before his hand squeezes them both tight enough to be almost painful, and he comes.

His come splashes messy on Blaine's stomach and cock and thighs, and his eyes are squeezed shut, and he's breathing roughly through his nose. Blaine presses a soft kiss to his lips.

"Fuck," Kurt says. He opens his eyes, blinking a few times, and somehow it never fails to take Blaine's breath away, the way Kurt looks at him.

Kurt slides down Blaine's body, taking Blaine's cock into his mouth. It's warm and slick and perfect, because they've gotten good at this, really good at this, and it doesn't take much at all. Blaine clings to Kurt's shoulders as he comes.

Blaine has a tendency to get sleepy after sex, so Kurt's the one who cleans them up. He just grabs a tissue to wipe them both down before he crawls onto the bed again, letting Blaine cuddle up against him. Blaine straightens his t-shirt and pulls his pants and boxers back up. He doesn't bother redoing the belt. "That was fun," he says, leaning a head on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt huffs out an annoyed breath, but Blaine can tell when he's trying to make a bigger production out of something than it really is. "I really wanted to seduce you," he says, pouting.

"You did seduce me," Blaine says. He kisses the corner of Kurt's lips, the curve of Kurt's cheekbone, the line of Kurt's jaw. "I'm just bad at pretending I don't want you."

Kurt rolls his eyes at the sentiment, but his smile is still smug, pleased with himself. "Also, _It's not gay if your dicks don't touch_? I can't believe you said that out loud."

Blaine smiles against Kurt's neck. "I heard Thad say it to Jeff once," he says, cuddling in closer. "It was a very strange and memorable moment in my life." He'd been new to Dalton then, a baby gay still feeling his way through all of Dalton's formality and traditions, still reeling from what had happened during the Sadie Hawkins dance, lost and a little lonely. He couldn't have imagined then that he'd find someone like Kurt, that Kurt would find him too.

Kurt laughs this time, giggling into Blaine's still-messy hair. "So, what should we try next time?" he asks. "Not that we shouldn't do this again. I appreciate how easy-access these jeans are."

"Hmm," Blaine says, sliding a hand underneath Kurt's shirt so he can run a hand over the smooth planes of Kurt's chest. The possibilities really are endless, and Blaine wants to get a chance to try them all one day. It gives him a pleasant buzz to realize that he does have that chance, that they'll have all these chances together. "You still have your Cheerios uniform, right?"

"Men," Kurt says, "you're all so predictable. Yes, I still have it."

"Awesome," Blaine says. He slides their fingers together, giving Kurt's hand a squeeze. "Next time, then."

"Next time," Kurt agrees, squeezing back.

 

FIN.


End file.
